Hw 21

Experiences and insights from guest speaker Beth Bernett on her husbands illness and death:

1.) Illness and dying look different in real life compared to what it looks like on TV and in movies. "It's not pretty."

2.) She continues her husband's work after his death. She feels he is "alive" wherever she goes.

3.)Illness suddenly struck her husband. He was very healthy and never sick.

4.) Generally men tend to resist medical care more than women. He never went to the doctor till the illness.

5.)She didn't want people to treat her husband like a disease but like a human being ( father, husband,etc)

6.)Illness and dying is "not a straight line"

7.)Her husband began to push death away towards the end.

8.)They never spoke about death or dying through out her husbands illness.

9.)It's important to say nice things to loved ones because you never know when you'll run out of time.

10.)There was an indescribable stillness in the room when her husband passed away.

After hearing Beth Bernett's first hand account of her experiences and insights
regarding her husbands death and illness, it got me thinking a lot more about how she mentioned that it's important to tell loved ones nice things like " I love you" because you never know if you'll get another chance to because death can suddenly take anyone at any moment. Time is not promised to anyone neither is life. When someone dies we tend to regret not spending enough time with that person or telling them all the things we wanted to tell them. We feel as if we've run out of time that is why it is important to make time for the things that matter most in our lives like family because you never know when they might be gone.Just like Beth who spent all her time with her husband during his last months alive. So that when that time comes we'll have no regrets and have done and said the things we wanted before the time comes.

Another insight I found interesting was how her and her family and everyone involved during her husbands illness never spoke about death or dying even though they knew that could end up happening. I find it interesting how people tend to be selective of the reality they choose to accept during hard times, like illness and dying. Whether they are the ones with the illness and dying or witness someone else fighting an illness and death. They tend not to speak about it as a way of dealing with it or they push it away so they don't have to deal with it. We can also be in denial when a situation doesn't look good like when you witness someone going through a potentially fatal illness. Which allows you to create hope, that everything will turn around and get better even if that may not be the case. Everyone is gonna deal with and approach death differently. It's whatever is going to make the process a little easier and less stressful to handle that works for them. Whether you choose to make the most of it or push it away.

I think we can all learn from others experiences and insights on illness and dying that can help us to know what to expect when we experience it. Some questions that the guest speaker sparked were why do we keep dying and illness separate in our lives? why don't we discuss it before we come face to face with it? Instead of making the most of their situation like Beth's husband, why do people tend to feel sorry for themselves during illness and death?