hw 58

My first interviewee who will be attending prom is participating in the event because she feels as if it's going to be one of the last times to be with everyone before graduating and like it would be a good way to end the school year. Feels prom is going to be a special night and is happy she's attending with someone she actually likes. She sees everyone putting their differences aside and coming together for that one night. Imagines her prom to be like a scene out a movie.Most looking forward to the stories that are going to be told the day after and seeing the transformations of everyone. Feels as if looking good for prom is important , but doesn't want to be the center of attention. Hasn't stressed too much about prom because she has prioritized more important stuff first instead of worrying about it.

My second interviewee who hasn’t attended prom yet wants to attend because he feels as if prom would be a memory he can look back on and remember. He wants to attend to be with friends and have a good time. He called prom ”a night I won’t forget”. Would still want to attend prom if there was no date and wouldn't feel bad about not having one.Feels as if a lot of preparation and money is going to go into it, so is therefore going to enjoy it. Wants to participate in the party. Feels like if he doesn’t attend prom he’ll be missing out a little bit ,but there’s always the after party. Has already started talking and planning prom with friends. Expects it to be a long night and hopefully end in getting lucky.Thinks that the after party is going to be better than the actual prom because there won’t be any teachers or supervision around.

NOT DONE

hw 57

I feel like prom is something that is eagerly anticipated for many seniors. There is a lot of planning that goes into making the night magical or one to remember. It’s seen as an event where anything can happen. People put a lot of time and effort into making sure that prom is going to be one of the highlights of senior year. For those attending prom the key moments are important and really focused on and planned even up until the actual day. Everyone follows the script in order to make sure that there is a good ending to the night they’ve waited for, planned and spent so much money on.
I personally feel proms are a little over hyped. I don’t plan to “go all out” for prom, but that doesn’t stop people from paying for the prom experience. Lots of money is spent in making the night memorable, from the limos to the dresses and tuxedos, even the after parties. I question why if it’s only for one night?

Why are people who don’t go to prom stigmatized?
Why is prom such a big deal for people?
Why are the guys usually the active agents when it comes to prom and not the girls?

Hw 56

Rossi,

I enjoyed reading your recap of the interview with the women at the funeral home. I liked that you decided to go out and explore this topic more and ask questions to someone who is in the business and knows a lot more. Something I found interesting was the woman's take on home funerals and how she was against them. Since I did my project on home burials which just goes to show that everyone has their own way of dealing with the death process that makes easier for them. That in the end it's all about remembering that person and honoring their life and wishes.
(http://rossi63blog.blogspot.com/)

Bryanna,

I thought it was good that you decided to get your family's perspective on death and what they want to happen to them when they die which is something that I think is worth thinking about. I think hearing your family's thoughts on the topic helped develop your own in a way. I liked how you talked about your view on death and religion compared to your mom's and how it doesn't matter in the end because it's based on the type of people you are and how you want people to remember you.
(http://lovelifebry.blogspot.com/)

Ally,

I liked your elevator speech, which brought me to your blog. I liked that you decided to make an informative brochure on the alternative burial options compared to a conventional one. I liked that the brochure had pictures of each one and and little story and info on the burial and why it was chosen.
(http://normalisweirddaj.blogspot.com/)

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Jay said:
Larche,

Your research and explanation of home funerals is well structured and informative. It was easy to read without being too fluffy. A counter-argument paragraph would have been an interesting addition and there were a few grammatical errors. But the fluidity and amount information made up for that. Strong post.

Bryanna said:
Hey Larche,
I like how you explained what a home funreal is to that if people didn't know they know do. I also like how you have a quote. As well as write all the soucres that you use good. But I like you explain why home funeral is a good thing. I think home funerals are a good thing to really say bye to your love ones. What do you think you would do or want done for you?

Rossi said:
Larche,
I liked your blog because it provided me with a lot of information. While it had a research paper style your analysis made reading it far less boring than I expected from this assignment. I particularly liked the sentence, “The experience of a home burial can also much more meaningful and personal than a traditional funeral because families are able to carry out the wishes of their dead in a private setting rather than being surrounded by strangers and allowing them to handle the death process, but by handling the death process of their loved one themselves can help the grieving process and make it easier to say their final goodbyes.” While this is an interesting point it is clear to me that some may need the assistance of a “stranger” like a funeral director. They can possibly ease the pain and make the process less difficult and stressful for the family member(s) whom experience the loss. In my opinion I feel that would help me to cope with my loss rather than having to deal with it myself. This was a strong post however I think proofreading is far too often discredited. While the quote above stood out to me it was also a running sentence. Had you proofread I am sure you would have caught it. All in all, good job.

Protege said:
I enjoyed reading this post considering I didn't know much about home burials before. I found it informative and very interesting. I got a better sense of why home burials could be an option for people and made me consider it as an option for myself. I would feel more comfortable knowing that my family member's were handling my funeral and burial arrangements rather than outsiders who are just trying to make money.

hw -extra credit

COTD: After watching "Harold and Maude" the theme of living life to the fullest was present. Harold is so obsessed with his own death and faking his own suicides that he's not focused on living life. After meeting Maude at a funeral of a stranger, they develop a relationship over attending funerals. I think that Maude brings life back into Harold's life. Harold feels as if life isn't worth living anymore, but Maude makes him realize that it is.

For Harold, it seems that since he is so consumed with his own death he forgets how to live his life. He gets the feeling that perhaps life isn't worth living, but when Maude comes into his life she chances his outlook on how he should be living instead of focusing on things related to death. Maude allows for him to start living again and experience life before it comes full circle and eventually does end in his real death.

Maude on the other hand has a love for life and wants to share that love with Harold. She sees the beauty in life and lives the way she wants to. Her perspective on life is something Harold can benefit from. Harold is taught by Maude to make the most of his life on earth instead of being focused on the depressing stuff like faking his own suicides.It seems as if Maude is the answer that leads Harold off of his self destructive path while ultimately realizing her own.

COTD: I visited two cemeteries with David and Michelle. The first one was St. Paul's cemetery and the second was Trinity Church's cemetery. I noticed that both cemeteries were connected to a church and that both were not very big compared to other cemeteries I've seen. Walking through the cemeteries I found it very peaceful. I didn't get a weird feeling walking through at all, maybe because there was a lot of other people in the cemeteries with us at the time. Everyone was walking through and taking pictures just as we were. I think the fact the both were historical cemeteries is what attracted the people compared to a regular cemetery which might not see that many visitor's in a day.


Walking through both cemeteries I noticed that the tombstones were all very old and some were even chipping away. I noticed quite a few of the tombstone's at Trinity read "Here lies the body of ____ who departed from life" and gave a little description of who the person was name,age,etc. None of the graves except one had flowers placed on top of it. I noticed that there were benches in each cemetery which provided an inviting feeling.

Being in both cemeteries and having that relaxed feeling walking through made me realize how life comes full circle, from birth to death and that it is eventually going to happen and it's something we have to accept.

hw 55

Home Burials

Home burials which is an alternative to a traditional funeral allows for people to take care of their dead without getting a funeral director or funeral industry involved because they feel it’s is more personal and meaningful experience spending their last moments will their dead and handling all the arrangements themselves. Author Lisa Carlson describes why she decided on a home burial in her book Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love after being faced with the death of her husband John “The task of grappling with “arrangements” seemed enormous. I understood just how easy it would be to let a funeral director take over as I drained my body with tears. But I felt a strong need to express my love and caring for John, even in death.” (pg 19) Instead of allowing a funeral home to take care of the burial, she felt the need to handle all of the arrangements herself without the interference of strangers who couldn’t show her husband the same love and care in death that she could. Home burials allow for the families to show their loved ones the same kind of personal care they devoted to their loved ones before their death. This is one of the reason people choose to have home burials, to be able to assure that their loved ones will be taken care of the way they want to. Even if allowing a funeral home to handle the entire death process seems easier, they know that the funeral home handles the body from the minute they get it to the minute the body is buried which doesn’t leave much room for the family to get involved in the process.

Home burials can be a transforming experience for families and friends who decide to do it. In the New York Times article “home burials offer an intimate alternative” by Katie Zezima, Nancy Manahan described her mothers home burial which had a profound effect on her “There’s something about touching, watching, sitting with a body that lets you know the person is no longer there,” Nancy Manahan said. “We didn’t even realize how emotionally meaningful those rituals are, doing it ourselves, until we did it.” Home burials provide families with an intimate and familiar setting instead of a funeral home where they are able to spend alone time with their dead while being surrounded by family and friends all of whom cared for the deceased. The experience of a home burial can also much more meaningful and personal than a traditional funeral because families are able to carry out the wishes of their dead in a private setting rather than being surrounded by strangers and allowing them to handle the death process, but by handling the death process of their loved one themselves can help the grieving process and make it easier to say their final goodbyes.

Another reason people choose to have a home burial and handle all the arrangements themselves without the funeral industry involved is because it’s a more cost effective alternative to a traditional funeral which can cost up to $10,000. “The cost savings can be substantial, all the more important in an economic downturn. The average American funeral costs about $6,000 for the services of a funeral home, in addition to the costs of cremation or burial. A home funeral can be as inexpensive as the cost of pine for a coffin (for a backyard burial) or a few hundred dollars for cremation or several hundred dollars for cemetery costs.” (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/21/us/21funeral.html) Home burials are an alternative to families who aren’t willing to shell out thousands of dollars on a funeral that doesn’t allow for them to have personal involvement in. It allows for them to take care of the body on their terms. Some people even decide to make the coffins themselves.

Overall home burials are an alternative for people who don’t want to hand the death process of their loved ones over to professionals. Home burials can be more affordable than conventional funerals as well as giving the families a more meaningful and personal experience while paying their final respects to their loved ones.

Sources:
Zezima, katie. "Home Burials Offer an Intimate Alternative ." New York Times (2009): 1. Web. 16 May 2011.
Carlson, Lisa. Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of . 1. 1. Upper Access, 1997. 640. Print.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/21/us/21funeral.html

hw 53 A

1.) Article 1: Precis: After the earthquake in Haiti, the thousands dead were buried in mass graves without identification which the public feared that the dead bodies posed a health risk such as the spread of disease and infection. Though their assumptions might seem valid, bodies of people who die healthy don't spread disease but the people when handling the bodies without proper care can run a risk. The important thing was to identify the dead so the families can grieve for them and properly dispose of the bodies using chemicals and such to disinfect.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8465464.stm

Article 2 : Precis: Picking the perfect coffin is important as it's part of your final say in your send off even though you won't be able to see your funeral play out at least you can choose the coffin. By pre- planning your own funeral or someone else's can help make the entire process a lot easier to handle. It assures you that you or your dead will be handled with care. Death and how what you want to happen to your body is something that should be talked about and planned ahead of time.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-10636368

The first article spoke about the lack of the care of the dead since they were buried in mass graves or left rotting on the roadsides after the quake without identification. when people are buried in mass graves without identification it becomes difficult to keep tack of the death toll not to mention the relatives of the decease would have a hard time with the grieving process if they knew the type of care their dead received. The second article which focused on the preplanning of the funeral and burials unlike just shoving the dead into mass graves without a care. The arranging of your funeral can actually be helpful like picking your own coffin instead of leaving in the hands of others.


2. Michelle and I went to a funeral home called The Funeral Chapel owned by Frank E. Campbell. We got a tour of the place which didn't seem very warm or inviting. The lighting in the place was very dim,it was cold and all the staff were either dressed in all black or dark colors and kept a very cool composure. We found out that the funeral home require an authorization to obtain custody of the body and must be released to them upon their request. We found out that the funeral homes direct cremations are more expensive than their direct burials because you get to choose from a range of alternative containers to place the remains inside. The type of container affects the price of the cremation. They have more packages for cremations than they do for burials. We also found out that embalming needed to be done if you wanted an open casket funeral or viewing and that can be done in their "preparation room". There was also a chapel located on the ground floor where funeral services are held. They also stated that their staff is on call for anything regarding the service you choose. They pretty much take care of every aspect regarding the care of the dead from the funeral service to the hearse ride to the cemetery. Everything can be handled by them at a price.

The funeral industry is a money making business . I got the sense from the funeral home that everything can be taken care of for the death of your loved one, but at a price. The cost of the different services can be very expensive. It costs a lot to die. Funeral homes stand to make a lot of money off of people who simply don't want to be involved because they handle everything from the moment they get custody of the body to the moment it's placed in the ground while you pay all the expenses along the way. So it's as if you're paying for something that doesn't turn out to be personal at all. Which lead me to think about the alternative funeral and burial options out there. Without getting a funeral home involved in the process such as home births or sea burials. Instead of paying strangers to take care of and handle your death rather handle the arrangements yourself and have it be less expensive while making the experience more meaningful and personal.

Hw 51

Precis: I would argue that death is a natural part of life. We should treat it and see it that way, as part of the cycle of life. Deaths and burials should be natural and meaningful as a part of letting go. Some ways you can make burials natural are by having sea burials which are an alternative to the traditional funeral.

Quotes:

"Unlike most standard funerals back on land, sea scatterings rarely take on the atmosphere of formal affairs." (80)

"At that moment I know that this is really the end, and that I'm going to miss two people who were very important to me in my life, we're finalizing the end of their lives."(81)

"I really don"t know why it is that all of us are so committed to the sea...We are tied to the ocean, and when we go back to the sea-whether it is to sail or to watch it-we are going back from whence we came." (101)

"When you allow the funeral director to whisk away a body, you miss out on the rewards that come from having a home funeral." (105)

The book gives a lot of information on the alternative to a traditional funeral. Ways to make burials as a natural process. It gives stories of other people's burials to distinguish the differences between the way they chose to bury their dead vs the dominant social practice of funerals.

hw 50

GRAVE MATTERS by Mark Harris

Precis:People look at having funeral services as the normal thing to do once someone passes away. It's the dominant social practice in our culture , but there are other ways of burying and saying goodbye to the dead. That turn out be more cost effective and a more personal way of letting out. There are many alternatives to funerals that people are now embracing and finding more meaningful.

Quotes:
"In fact, today's typical funeral is but a modern construct,and one that bears little resemblance to the way earlier generations cared for, paid tribute to , and buried the dead."

"Stripped of any meaningful engagement with the corpse, the family was left to assume the passive role of observer and mourner, invited to view its loved one in someone else's "home" at prescribed hours and at a fixed cost." (pg46)

"Today, the cost of a standard funeral may easily run to $10,000, to the shock of families new to the business of funeral-making in the modern age." (pg 47)

" Brian Benson's decision to cremate his mother puts him at odds with an unbroken tradition of burial on both sides of his family. But it's one that other families-and entire cultures-have been making as far back as the Stone Age. " (54)

"But for Ken, that brief sea burial proved cathartic. I was overcome with this huge profound feeling of release.I still felt a loss for my father,but scattering his ashes took away that crushing grief. It was almost like, it's ok now." (72)

The book gives insight to the funeral industry and the processes performed when handling the deceased. Opening people's eyes to more natural and personal alternatives to the traditional and very expensive funeral. Instead stories of people's experiences with cremations,sea burials,etc are shared, making the reader realize that they can be involved in the burial process of their loved ones instead of handing them off into the hands of strangers.Instead of leaving the entire process in the hands of undertakers and embalmers decisions can be made about the disposal of the body that will still ensure the dead are handled with respect and it is still a personal moment. While breaking away from the "tradition" of funerals.

hw 49

Rossi,

Thought that getting to hear your peer's views on death from three different perspectives really helped you develop your own thoughts on the subject more.I like how you were able to take what your interviewees said and applied it to your own life and how you see death. The quote "It saddens me that one death can change so much" the interviews were touching and showed how each person was affected by death in their lives and how it has influenced their views on it and changed so much for them. You told each person's story in a way that I could connect to. Good job!

Jay,

Interviewing your mom showed how her experiences growing up around funerals and coming from a different culture and how her religious background influenced her ideas on death and the care of the dead. "What I thought was odd though, was that my mother wants to be cremated, which contradicts her being a self-proclaimed 'traditionalist'." good job analyzing what your mom said and trying to make sense of how she wants to buried.Thought it was interesting to hear what she had to say since you said it seemed she had thought a lot about it.



Max,

Your interviews showed how death can impact people's lives by losing someone close to them. You also touched on how after someone dies they are still remembered by those closest to them. That even though they are gone, they still live on in the memories of others.

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Max cb said...

Larche,

Your interviewees ideas on cremation vs. burials interested me alot. I liked how that person believed that cremation was "wrong". Since that is an opinion i am not going to argue against their beliefs but it did make me think about my own ideas on the issue. Very good post overall.

Jay M. said...

Your post was great. Really detailed and extensive. One line that struck me was; "we have a set of rules for everything in life, so you don't have to give much thought into making your own decision or trying to figure out what’s right for you." I was bewildered by this, and couldn't understand why your interviewee would want common routine to rule how they cared for loved ones. However you interviewed your interviewees was great and brought out a bunch of great stuff. Solid post.

hw 47

My first interviewee’s ideas on death and the care of the dead have been strongly influenced by her religious beliefs. According to her beliefs she feels very strongly about burials vs. cremation. She was not in favor of cremations as a way to let go of the dead “I personally think that cremation is wrong. If there is nothing left of the body you can't say your prayers to it or you won't really have any proof of that being ever living...those burnt up ashes can be ashes of anything or anyone, but with a buried body you actually have proof that someone indeed passed on”. She also felt as if the religion made dealing with death and the care of the dead easier for her to deal with “we have a set of rules for everything in life, so you don't have to give much thought into making your own decision or trying to figure out what’s right for you. I mean we are already lost amongst ourselves while caring for the dead, the last thing anyone would need is trying to figure out how to dispose the body.” When I asked about the public viewing of the dead at funerals she felt as if was something she wouldn’t prefer “I personally would not be comfortable seeing a dead body. I think that there should be a sense of privacy between the body and the outside world. I don't know how to explain it but it just seems wrong for some reason”.

My second interviewee felt uncomfortable with the topic of death and the care of the dead and didn't care that much to talk about it.Maybe because he had attended a couple. He felt as if funerals were "horrible to attend" but felt that they "make you cherish your life more and think about the person that passed away". He noted that the dead look "different" at funerals, but didn't elaborate on that. He had also only been to open casket funerals which were "scary" and didn't feel comfortable with the showing of a dead corpse.

My third interviewee didn't have much experience with funerals ,but felt as if "they are part of the process of letting our loved ones go". she stated that she would want to have a funeral for her death and she would rather be buried than cremated so that her family could visit her grave site. She also felt that having an open casket at a funeral is a way for people to say goodbye to the person one last time and as if were part of the grieving process and realizing the reality of the situation by actually getting to see it. She also felt as if funerals were depressing and wouldn't want hers to be a sad affair.

Doing these interviews made me realize the difference of opinion on the way people think others should be buried and what influences their thinking.Religion seems to play a huge role in the way people decide how they or their loved ones should be buried. Religion often makes it easier for people to deal with the care of the dead because all they have to do is follow the dominant burial practices as their religion. Also the decision to have an open or closed casket at a funeral had some mixed feeling on whether or not it was necessary or right.

The topic of care of the dead can be a confusing one for some because they either don't have much experience on it or they just haven't talked about. So their funeral experiences can be over whelming and uncomfortable for them because they don't clearly understand the practices and rituals they are witnessing.

hw 46

From personal experience, the dead are treated with respect. Everything at funerals is handled with great care and respect for the dead and their mourning relatives. Everyone attends the funeral to pay their respects.It seems we tread the dead with more consideration than we do the living.The church seems to play quite a significant role when it comes to dealing with the dead. There are often prayers said and rituals performed that differ depending on the religion.

I think it's interesting that the dead (our loved ones) are handled by strangers when they die. Why don't more people handle the funeral arrangements of their loved ones and such instead of leaving it in the hands of others? I'm interested in looking at the care of the dead from a cultural perspective.How do different religions view the dead and handle funerals? who takes care of the dead? What happens to the body after death?

Hw 45

In response to the comments I received on my research project, I agree with Jay's point that infertility and the stigma of infertility is an aspect of birth that we never talked about , but think is worth looking at. I found my research informative as well as my readers on how people who aren't necessarily seen as "normal" can be treated differently. Just as David, I also found the personal experience of Mamta Jhunjhun Wala helpful in understanding how infertility can affect a women's self image as a woman and role in society. I also think Leah was right in saying that this topic has left me thinking about what I would do if I were infertile and am more wise on how other women with infertility feel and get a better sense of what their going through. On a final note, I agree with Amber that this is a topic that definitely can be further discussed. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my post and left a comment.

hw 42

I chose to explore the stigma that surrounds women who are diagnosed with infertility and how they are seen and treated in their social circles. Women who are able to conceive children see it as a “blessing”, but what is the part pregnancy process like for women who are unable to naturally conceive?

In a Newsweek article I found a women-Mamta Jhunjhun Wala, 42, of Mumbai who recalls herself facing the stigma of being unable to have children for the first 13 years of her marriage. “People ask a woman's name—and then, "How many children do you have?" When the woman answers "none," she says, "they don't know what they can talk to you about." (Karen 3) She faced the rejection from other women in her social circle that found it difficult to relate to her because she
didn’t have any children. It seems that her identity was based on the children she had. Having no children meant she didn’t have much of an identity to the other women without children.

Infertility can lead to some women feeling and being ostracized by other women for something that isn’t in their control . "People see them as having a "bad eye" that will make you infertile, too. Infertile women are considered inauspicious," says Inhorn. Other people simply "don't want to have them around at joyous occasions," says Frank van Balen, coauthor (with Inhorn) of "Infertility Around the Globe" and a professor in the department of social and behavioral sciences at the University of Amsterdam." (Karen 3) These infertile women are excluded from these occasions because others believe that they are like “bad luck”. That having them around
them is somehow going to negatively affect them. This makes those who suffer from infertility question why they deserved this. Why do they deserve to be treated differently from other women because of their inability to reproduce. This leads them to having feelings of “there’s something wrong with me.”

Having children and reproducing is something people see as a part of the normal process of life “Parenthood is encouraged and celebrated and the inability to fulfill these societal expectations can be devastating.” (The Stigma of Infertility). There is a type of pressure that people face to reproduce like from family and friends and it’s seen as the normal next step couples take in their
relationships but being unable to leads the couple facing infertility to doubt their place/role in society. They feel as if they don’t measure up to other women and couples and disappoints their expectations of wanting children and getting societal approval.

Women and couples suffering from infertility face a number of issues ahead including the stigma they face from society. Their inability to conceive children naturally is something that is out of their control. So they shouldn’t be ostracized and treated differently by others because of it. It is not a disease just something that is unfortunate that happens to 1 in every 10 couples.

Bibliography

Karen, Springen. "What it means to be a woman." Newsweek 15 September 2008: 3. Web. 6 Apr 2011. .

Journey, fertility. "The stigma of infertility." Fertility journey n. pag. Web. 6 Apr 2011.

hw 40

"Hey - thanks for writing The Surprising History Of How We Are Born-BIRTH. Your core argument of how and why we are born the way we are made me rethink what I already know about pregnancy & birth."

But the author, surprised to be talking to someone who instead of sharing their own birth story actually rephrased the main idea of the text s/he spent months giving birth to asks, "Really, which parts were most effective or important for you?" When you answer, "Well, in the last third of the book you focused on the way women of different cultures handle their postpartum birth, which added another angle to the first 2/3rds of the book . But let me be more specific." And then you listed the top 3 ideas/pieces of evidence/insights/questions from that final third of the book (and somehow even listed page number references).
1. Birth always reflects the culture in which it happens. (250)
2. Modern medicine has made great advances in the area of child birth but has not erased the fears of birth completely.(253)
3. Bonding with the baby is important for the mother and baby from the very beginning of the process and post birth because it improves their relationship ,etc (229)

At this point, realizing that s/he's having a unique conversation with a serious reader of her/his book, the author asks - "But what could I have done to make this a better book - that would more effectively fulfill its mission?" You answer, "Well, let's be clear - your text sought to provide, historical analysis from the perspective of a journalist and mother for the book-reading-public to better understand pregnancy & birth in our culture. Given that aim, and your book, the best advice I would give for a 2nd edition of the text would be, to focus less on the sensational history cases of birth and add more personal stories from real women and their experiences. But I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing. I appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about how history has influenced the way women of different cultures and time periods have chosen to give birth & that every women should be allowed to make her own decisions on how to give birth because every women’s desires of what the birth process should be like is different. In fact, I'm likely to think about and evaluate how I would want my own birth experience to happen differently as a result of your book." The author replies, "Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!"

Hw 39

Cassidy, Tina. Birth. NY,NY: Grove Press, 2006. Print.

The book goes more in depth about the birth process and history behind it.
The author explores the history of birth and compares and contrasts they way birth was back then , to the way it is now. She also provides more information about birth and the process for women of other cultures.

The book continues to communicate the history and process of birth and how it has changed over time. Some parts of the process have changed for the better, while I feel other parts remain nightmarish. I wonder If there will ever be an answer to what is the right way to give birth?

.The technical advances made to ensure safe births (pg 114)
.The birthing field being dominated by male doctors (pg 131)
.Avoiding unnecessary ultrasound because it could be harmful to the development of the child (pg 174)
.The importance of the right labor position for women giving birth (pg 182)
.Babies being able to be born under water safely (pg 186)

I decided to research the safety of at home births vs hospital births and found that
"Sheila Kitzinger, British childbirth expert, states that planned home birth with an experienced lay midwife has a perinatal death rate of 3-4 babies per 1,000 births (51). Hospital births, by contrast, carry a perinatal mortality rate of 9-10/1,000. [Perinatal death rates include fetal deaths on and after 28 weeks gestation, whereas neonatal mortality rates only include deaths occurring in the first 28 days after birth (Jones 96,98)] "http://www.gentlebirth.org/ronnie/homejjg.html. This seems to support the claim that alternative birth methods are safe and deserve more attention and should be a choice given to a women.

hw 38

Birth
by Tina Cassidy

This book is organized in a way that gives the reader facts and historical information about how women have been giving birth. Each chapter deals with a different aspect of birth and the process that dates from different time periods. One of the major questions this book focuses on is how has the way women give birth and choose to give birth changed over time and over generations. There's certainly been a change over time in the way birth is handled in our culture, from women having natural births with midwives present to now having cesarean births in hospitals.

How different generations of women and different cultures have dealt with birth and the role of nature and how birth is suppose to be a natural experience for women is an insight that I agree with because over time they way women give birth compared to years ago has changed. With new medical technology, hospitals, the absence of midwives, and more cesarean births taking place than natural births.

. How woman's bodies have changed and adapted to giving birth over time.
. The connection between the woman's diet and the size baby she delivers.
. How midwives are no longer present at as much births then before.
. The role hospitals play now in the birth process.
. The role drugs play during birth for women.

In this book the author uses a lot of factual evidence with a few stories thrown in. Mostly cluing the reader in on facts and historical information on how we are born. She also includes stuff about her birth experience and the women of her family that allow the reader to connect.

hw 37

Comments for me:

Your post was well written and well structured. The part that I found insightful was "She spoke about needing a lot of help after having the c-section since she couldn't hold the baby for the first week, which didn't make her feel 'self sufficient'." It draws on our conversation in class about how we might demean women by helping them too much, this shows that maybe women don't want ALL of the help that they get. This would be an interesting thing to look into.


Your style of writting was graceful, particularly in the way that you began each chunk. Begining with one word to sum up your interviewee's feelings gave me a sense that you were truly interested in what they had to say and made me interested in what other things the person may have to say. The most insightful part to me was "She also had a lot of doubt through out the pregnancy , wondering if she would be a good mother or if the baby would be healthy." To me, this is not a feeling that would dominate my thought if I was in that situation, i may be fearful of the future however I would be optimistic. I would look forward to the future and try to find ways to make the whole process easier, rather than adding stress that can be avoided.

Larche,

Your style of writing was very fluent and it really showed me that you got a good understanding of what you were writing about. I really thought that your interviewees responses were great and it kept me very interested through out your post. I think your most insightful lines were, "For this interviewee, she described her all three of her births as "easy". She spoke of working right up until the day before giving birth to one of her children.
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Rossi,

It seems that you really tried to make sense of the feelings and actions of your interviewees during their pregnancy experience that gave you an understanding of their situation and sparked some thought.When referring to a pregnant woman's cravings I liked the line "It seems to just be an excuse to spoil the woman, and of course she takes advantage." Which goes back to the idea of treating women as sacred and precious by attending to their needs and spoiling them due to the pregnancy.

Jay,

I enjoyed reading your interviews from three different points of view of the pregnancy and birth process. I liked the line "Pregnancy is like no other aspect of our lives, because there is a living thing inside of the women which is such a mind boggling experience." It shows that pregnancy and birth is an experience that is handled differently by mothers and fathers as they experience a variety of emotions ,knowing that they are bringing a life into this world .

Max,

I liked how you chose to do your interviews from a more personal angle. A line I found interesting was "She disregarded all other distractions and the whole time was just thinking about having a family who she would love and would love her." speaking of your mother's pregnancy experience that got me thinking about the reasons behind and motivations of why women decide to get pregnant and start a family.

hw 36

Birth story #1

My first interviewee described her birth as "bliss" because she had a c-section and never had to feel any pain because it numbed her...until the next day when the epidural wore off. She described her body's changes as she gained a lot of weight and had a very large baby (10 lbs) hence the c-section. She spoke about needing a lot of help after having the c-section since she couldn't hold the baby for the first week, which didn't make her feel "self sufficient". She felt she was treated well by family and friends whose support and love helped her get through the pregnancy being that she is a single parent. It helped to have their help and support and wish she would have know how much help she would have needed the first week after giving birth and would have probably gotten a baby nurse, knowing what she knows now.

It seems that the pregnancy experience can be a little harder for single expecting mothers. They require a lot more help and support being that it's only the mom and the baby ,so having people through the process is a big plus.

Birth Story #2

For this interviewee, she described her all three of her births as "easy". She spoke of working right up until the day before giving birth to one of her children. She was in labor for only two hours and remembers laughing the entire time the doctor instructed her to push the baby out. She required no epidural because she wasn't in pain for any of her births. She had all natural births , including a premature birth which was unexpected. She spoke of her husband missing the birth of one of her children because she wasn't in labor for long and by the time he showed up , she had already given birth. Sidenote: The father feels really bad about missing the that birth and wishes he were there for it. The nurses also felt bad so they allowed the baby to spent the night with the mother and father which wasn't allowed.She also spoke of having her children in private hospitals , where she didn't have to share a room with anyone.

It seems like births are special and not to be missed. The pregnancy and birthing experiences are different for every women in terms of the hours of labor and whether or not it's a painful ordeal. Also having a premature baby can be a very scary thing and unexpected thing.

Birth story # 3

This interviewee described her baby as a "surprise" . She also spoke about having the "baby blues" after giving birth. Noting that she cried a lot for first few weeks and had lots of ups and downs in terms of her mood. She also had a lot of doubt through out the pregnancy , wondering if she would be a good mother or if the baby would be healthy. She became very paranoid and remember reading a lot of baby books and stuff off of the internet on nutrition and what to expect with the baby. She also remembers having conversations with other expecting moms and mothers who already went through pregnancy and birth. She also took prenatal classes.

It makes me think that it doesn't hurt to tap into all of your resources while pregnant. It can help to prepare and know what to expect while for the birth and having first hand accounts of people who have gone through the same experience can make the process easier.

Hw 35

After conducting a couple of interviews I found that many of the people I interviewed had somewhat negative thoughts on birth and becoming a parent. It wasn't something that appealed to them. "I would be more eager to have children if it wasn't so painful" many of them spoke about the process of being pregnant and giving birth that scared them or they were uncomfortable with. To them it seemed raising children wasn't going to be easy whether they wanted them or not "kids require patience and because of the career I want I'm not going to have the time." this particular friend didn't want children because she saw them as getting in the way of what she wants out of life. Raising children can be a full time job and require a lot of your attention " some people shouldn't have children because they don't know how to put themselves second." This brings up the issue that once you decide to have children you're life changes and it's not going to be about you anymore ,but the child.

I think that a lot of us get our perceptions of birth and how to raise children from what we see on TV. The media influences a lot of our expectations of birth that might not be reality. As well as other peoples experiences and personal experience that affects the way we look at birth and the possibility of having children someday.

Hw 34

I think birth is something that brings people together just like death. Death is the end of a life while birth is the beginning of one. The birth of a new life is something that is celebrated. Women talk about how birth is such a wonderful experience, but what about for women when that isn't necessarily the case. I know that there are a lot of complications and things that can go wrong with births like still births or premature births. How do the moms-to-be and doctors deal with such issues? Do they emotionally prepare beforehand or expect these things to happen?

When I think of births, the traditional hospital setting comes to mind. But I wonder what are some alternative birth methods? Why do some women choose to give birth in hospitals while others choose to do it in the comfort of their own homes? What are the benefits of alternative birth methods? I want to know more about how women prepare for childbirth and the measures they go through to ensure they have a healthy and safe birth.

Hw 32

During the course of this unit I got to explore many of the nightmarish social practices surrounding aspects of illness and dying, that I found to be quite eye opening. Before this unit I never really sat down and thought or talked much about death because of its depressing nature, but now I realize that it is worth talking about. We are all part of the dominant social practices surrounding illness and dying and it’s up to us to start approaching them differently. I would want to talk more about death and how I want to die with my family instead of waiting till I’m hooked up to medical equipment in a hospital dying a slow death, alone and feeling isolated from everyone. It’s sort of nightmarish to think that so many people die alone in hospitals when that might not be what they want, but they never expressed their thoughts on end of life care or how they wanted to die. I also took away a more positive approach to the idea of dying because after all, death is inevitable and something we will all experience, but in different ways.

Hw 31

Brandon,

I liked how you decided to write on your memories on the seniors in the nursing home you used to visit as a child and how you realized now that all those feelings of sadness for the elderly and dependent were related to the isolation that residents in nursing homes experience on a daily basis. Being "trapped" as you mentioned in your speech and feeling like "Being on the outside of the nursing home felt like I was really far away". It can be a very depressing place for one to visit. I can definitely relate to your feelings of sadness for the elderly who are just left in nursing homes and are isolated and neglected until death.

Willie,

I liked how you decide to interview your mom and write about how your religion influences your thoughts on death and what happens to you after you die. I think that our families views have an affect on what we believe. As you mentioned you share the same religion as your mom and thoughts on death. I also found it interesting how did research on other religions and the way they look at death and the after life to get a better understanding for yourself and what you believe.

Jessica,

I really enjoyed your speech. I love how you gave me a sense of what it would be like to get heart surgery and deal with the aftermath. I think that the handout and the video really tied it all together for me. You did a fantastic job of really putting everyone in the shoes of an open heart surgery survivor.

Brittani,

I enjoyed listening to your speech. I liked how you took a look at the emotional aspect of what a disease can do to a person. I could tell that it was very personal for you. You really tired to explore the emotional side effects of cancer on your aunts and the people close to them and effectively communicated some of those thoughts and emotions in your speech.

hw 30

For this project I decided to take a look at the abuse of the elderly in nursing homes. The behind the scenes of what happens to the elderly in 1 in 3 nursing homes, there are reports on the elderly residents experiencing a range of abuse from the very people (care takers/nurses) who the families of the residents have entrusted to provide the necessary care for their loved ones. The abuse experienced by residents have been mental abuse like unjustified isolation or humiliating comments being made to them by staff, physical abuse where the elderly experience physical harm to their bodies by the care takers and neglect from the staff which leads the patients to have untreated medical conditions, poor personal hygiene and malnutrition or dehydration just to name a few.(http://www.nursing-home-abuse-resource.com/nursing_home_abuse/signs.html)

For this project my group members and I decided we would visit local nursing homes. Prior to the visit we made a couple of phone calls to see if we could come in and ask the residents a couple of questions but people we spoke to on the phone were very curt and seemed very hesitant of having people come in to the nursing home speaking to the residents claiming “the residents would not like it” and that no staff members would be like it either. Which prompted us to do research on what happens to some peoples loved ones after they leave them all alone at the nursing home with people they thought would care for them.

This relates to the isolation of the sick and dying discussed during this unit. In this case the residents at nursing homes are being isolated by the people who are supposed to be caring for them. Instead they are mentally abusing them by not showing them any attention during a time in their lives were they desperately need the love, care and attention of others. This type of abuse can also go unrecognized since it’s all mental for the residents. This shows that they are being isolated by staff members who aren’t showing them adequate care. The isolation leads them to being poorly treated in these “homes”.

I found that the federal government is the biggest contributor of nursing home care, mostly through Medicaid, a joint federal-state health care program for the poor, and Medicare, the federal program for elderly and disabled people. Federal health and safety standards are designed to protect nursing home residents from abuse. This seems to contradict with the claim that instances of abuse are on the rise. (http://www.nursing-home-abuse-resource.com/nursing_home_abuse/abcnews_article.html)

I also found cases of abuse like one care taker who walked into a resident’s room and telling them “I'm tired of your ass," and hitting them in the face , breaking their nose. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=92689&page=1) This is a clear incident of physical abuse and the poor treatment of the care taker on the resident. There were many other cases relating to the physical abuse of the elderly at nursing homes by the staff.

I learned that something needs to be done about the treatment of the elderly in nursing homes. That not all nursing homes abuse their residents, but there are some out there and often the abuse is hidden behind closed doors by the staff and the residents because they are afraid. I think that people need to keep in mind that this is how you’re loved one could be treated at a nursing home and research could be done before sending them off to what you think is going to be a “home” for them. This shows that some aspects of illness and dying in our culture are hidden or not spoken about because of its nature , but needs to be.

sources:
-http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=92689&page=1
-http://www.nursing-home-abuse-resource.com/nursing_home_abuse/abcnews_article.html
-http://www.nursing-home-abuse-resource.com/nursing_home_abuse/signs.html
-http://law.freeadvice.com/estate_planning/elder_law/government_regulation_nursing_homes.htm

HW 29

When it comes to facing a terminal illness people have different experiences and ways of dealing with it. In Tuesday’s with Morrie by Mitch Albom , Morrie who was dying from ALS chose to treat his terminal illness with a positive outlook which helped him cope with the idea of dying. For a family member or friend who is watching a loved one facing an illness according to quest speaker Beth Bernett, it can be overwhelming and “stressful to deal with”. Everyone has a different approach to dealing with the reality of and illness and death. As well as a different way of accepting their mortality and when to talk about it and address it.

In our society people sick and dying tend to be isolated from everyone else-the healthy. There’s a stigma that surrounds the unhealthy that disconnects them from people that see them not as people anymore, but as their illness. According to Beth Bernett she didn’t want people “to treat him (her husband) like a disease, but as a person, as a human being.” Those experiencing an illness are not seen or treated as “normal” people in our society and are labeled by their condition. They are made out to seem like less of a person than others without the condition which leads them to feelings of isolation (Stigma).

In hospitals patients experience isolation from the doctors who are treating them. Doctors and nurses have to personally and emotionally disconnect from their patients (Near Death). In hospitals the dying are not wanted “hospitals discharge patients, wants they are labeled dying as not to incur the cost.”( And a Time to Die). Hospitals would rather you be healthy and treatable than dying or terminally ill. In nursing homes the old and sick are also isolated, with them being put all together in a home, to live together away from others. Some don’t even receive visitors they are just left there alone with feelings of abandonment.

There are millions of people living without health insurance and that could be due to the rising medical costs and insurance that makes it hard for people to afford. Paying for medical care and insurance is very costly. “Despite such high spending, millions of us do not receive the care we need.” (Landmark) Even with health insurance which we spend a fortune on, it still doesn’t cover everything. This makes it difficult for people to pay for, because there are still medical bills and medicine you have to pay for out of pocket (Sicko). The government is proposing a plan to take effect in a couple of years to provide somewhat universal and affordable health care for all (Landmark) because why should we have a money sign put on our lives?

citations:

Staff of Washington Post. 'Landmark'. Public Affairs. New York. 2

Cohn, Jonathan. 'Sick'. Harper Collins. Ny. 2007.

Kaufman, Sharon R. 'And A Time to Die: How American Hospitals shape the End of
Life'. Simon & Schuster. New York. 2005

Goffman, Erving.'STIGMA: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity'. Prentice Hall. NJ. 1963.

'Near Death'. (Film)

Michael Moore. 'Sicko'. (Film). 2007.

hw 28

For Michelle,

I liked how in your post you spoke about the way society views the sick and dying with the line "society separates us into groups in this case, the sick v.s. the healthy". I agree, we also tend to disconnect ourselves from the sick and dying or try to maintain our own health when that isn't always possible or if we're the ones sick and dying tend to cut ourselves off from the world around us. I think your friend experienced this isolation from others because you were the only one to visit her with her fever when no one else had.


For Leah,

I liked the line "Looking back i feel bad that i don't visit her as much as should because one day something can happen to her and i can't tell her what i wanted." because it showed me that you didn't want to have any regrets about the relationship you have with your grandmother. That you didn't want to disconnect yourself from her as she's with Alzheimer's. That you want to cherish every moment you have left with her which is important to you because life is not guaranteed to anyone.




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Larche,

The line I thought was beautifully written was "As I pushed her into her room she asked me to place her near the window where she likes to look out into the garden and read her bible which she says gives her strength." because of the imagery you used. That while reading it I could automatically image it in my head. How this simple act for this person was so important and strengthening was so sad. A line I thought was short and sweet, "It seemed like she had come to terms with her situation." Was short like I said it told something many of us I believe we must come to do when we began to die to come to terms with our illness or close death to not so distraught during this time.
- Michelle

Larche,
I thought that your post showed the connection you felt with this woman after you spoke to her for a while with the lines "I thanked her for talking to me and gave her a hug. It surprised me that I was hugging her, but it just felt like the natural response. I noticed she was hugging me tightly, which made me sad to pull away because I knew I’d been her only visitor outside of the nursing home." It also gave insight to how lonely some people in nursing homes can be because they don't get any visitors. That the old and sick in nursing homes are excluded from everyone else.
- Young mentor

HW 27

Once a month a few members from my church get together to for a little fellowship at the local nursing home in Riverdale. I decided to attend. I hadn’t been to the nursing home in a while, so I felt sort of staring going back. The nurse aids have gathered quite a few senior citizens in the nursing homes cafeteria before we arrive. As we walk in we greet the old ladies and gentlemen. We come with baskets of muffins for them. They seem delighted to see our faces. I notice they are a very diverse group. Some are in wheelchairs others have walkers. Throughout the service nurse aids continue to quietly rolling more of the elderly in. Many of them are smiling and singing along to the songs being played for them on the guitar while others, mostly the men have dosed off.

After the service I greeted and handed out muffins to everyone. They all thanked us for coming and how they look forward to seeing us every month. It made me glad that I went. I also offered to push an elderly woman back to her room before I left. She was elated at the offer. I couldn’t help but smile with her as she directed me to her room. She thanked me for the muffins and said she would enjoy them later.On the way to her room I initiated a little conversation with her. I asked how she came to end up at the nursing home, she said after her knee replacement surgery (which she still takes medication for) that confined her to the wheelchair, there was no one to care for her so the nursing home was the only choice. I asked if she ever received visitors, she replied no. She told me that she and her husband never had any children and after he died, she was the only one left. I felt sad for her. She was all alone. She did however, say that her friends at the nursing home and her aid have become family to her and she’s very grateful for them. It made me think that she longs for human connections and finds it in the people around her to alleviate her feelings of loneliness. She found comfort in these people,after the loss of her husband.

As I pushed her into her room she asked me to place her near the window where she likes to look out into the garden and read her bible which she says gives her strength. I thanked her for talking to me and gave her a hug. It surprised me that I was hugging her, but it just felt like the natural response. I noticed she was hugging me tightly, which made me sad to pull away because I knew I’d been her only visitor outside of the nursing home.

This woman reminded me of Morrie's outlook on life in "Tuesdays with Morrie" in the sense that even though I felt sad for her she didn't seem sad at all. It seemed like she had come to terms with her situation. She had a smile on her face the entire time I was with her and didn't complain about anything and spoke well of the relationships she's made in the nursing home which seemed important to her. Just like in "Tuesday's with Morrie" where the relationships he had with people and the love he received and gave out mattered to him. He also never complained about his condition or allowed himself to drown in sadness.

Hw 26

Insights from this unit:

- Try to live a meaningful and fulfilling life before it's too late,
without any regrets. (Tuesdays with Morrie)

- The issue of consent can become confusing when it comes to sick/dying patients in hospitals. (Near-Death)

- There is unequal access to health care and insurance.(Sicko)

- In times of illness and dying people remain hopeful.(Guest speaker)

During this unit I found that there movies we have been watching in class provided me with some insights on illness and dying. For example, Michael Moore's film "Sicko" got me thinking about our health care and health insurance and the role the government plays in our well being. That many people could be alive today if they were just provided with health care and insurance. From the quest speaker I got to hear a first hand account on illness and dying, hearing about another person's experience opened my eyes to how not everyone deals with it in the same way and that spending time with loved ones is important because you never know when it's gonna be your last. The book that I read during this unit was quite inspiring and shared some pretty interesting insights on life and experiencing death and illness.

To wrap up this unit I think we could take a look at different perspectives on illness and dying. We could look into why the sick and dying are often isolated from people in our society.Or we could take a closer look at our health care system and the health care system in other countries.